Achieving Breakthroughs Through Teamwork and Trust

Achieving Breakthroughs Through Teamwork and Trust
Tracey Herrick
Rapport Master Graduate

I have been clinging to the phrase “the universe doesn’t give us what we want; it gives us what we need.” I believe the same philosophy can be applied to a Rapport Leadership training experience. Rapport doesn’t give the experience one thinks one wants; instead, it delivers the experience one needs, and what I received from Leadership Breakthrough Two (LB2) was the biggest wakeup call of my life which presented the first steps of a path that would change my life.

In June 2005, I attended LB2 with about twenty of my co-workers. At the time, my company was sending all of us through Rapport. Most of my teammates were to become Master Graduates upon completion of LB2. Of all the Rapport courses, I had been dreading this one the most. I heard there would be some outdoor processes and I was horrified.

While I didn’t know my exact weight at the time, the truth was I was a 418 pound woman (pictured above, right) and LB2 would be physically demanding for me. I feared I was going to look like a total idiot, and doing this with all of my coworkers was beyond what I could imagine. Get out of comfort zone…check! I knew I was going to struggle, and I knew I didn’t want to hold my team back, so I did the best I could to keep up although it was a huge challenge for me to do so. I knew this was as far out on the skinny branches as I had ever been, and I was scared out of my mind.

On the second day of the course, we were given instructions about our next task as a team. I can see that night so clearly and vividly in my head right now; it is as if I were still there. We were going to have a chance to break through some of our blocks to leadership. Everyone in my class was excited and we were determined to fly through this exercise.

One after the other, each member of my team completed the task and each time there was a congratulatory cheer from the team. Yet...I felt nothing. I was empty. There was no getting into “ki”; there was no focus. I felt totally separated from my team. Then it was my turn. I walked slowly to the front, I looked at my co-worker and I whispered that I wasn’t ready. He assured me I could do it and I got into position and, nothing. Everyone consoled me and told me to do the task again. The group moved on as I decided to start over. I sat down and stared, contemplating what to do next. I still felt nothing. I had no idea what I was going to do. Finally, I wrote down the words “I’m not perfect,” “Let them see me fail.” I was trembling and still felt nothing. Time was slipping away and soon I was the last one left.

All eyes turned to me and all I could say was “I can’t do this”. The response from my team was a chorus of “You can do it,” “Go Tracey,” and “We are right here.” I shook my head, stood up, and said “No, I mean I REALLY can’t do this…I have nothing inside me. I have to let you guys see me fail because I need your strength and energy to get me through this moment.” I walked to the front and took my position and my team crowded around me giving me their energy, giving me all that they had to give me. It was then that I completed the task and victoriously broke through my block to leadership. The entire team hugged me and cried, and we cheered together. The events later that evening seemed like only a small flicker in time compared to the energy of that moment. You see, that moment changed something in me and taught me something that would later change my life.

What I learned about myself was that I need people. I had always been social; yet, I kept people at a distance because if they got too close, they might see my cracks and chinks, and I couldn’t allow that. The wall I had to break was to learn to allow people see the REAL me…the damaged, hurt, broken Tracey that needed to be loved and nurtured. That was the lesson that unlocked my future. It took two years to get to a place where I was ready to apply that lesson, but when I did, I was able to start to break down the biggest wall of all: my weight.

In April of 2007 I began a weight loss program and began to build a team of people around me who could help me get to my goal. As with my LB2 team, I needed to let the right group of people see me and help me; these were people who I trusted and who would give me the right advice. This meant dealing with some serious issues I had that I had not dealt with for years, such as a chronic condition I was diagnosed with called lymphedema. I worked with many medical professionals and I also started blogging about my struggle. I finally let my friends and family see me, the real me. This was the me who didn’t have it all together, the messed-up me who sometimes found it hard to get through the day. What I discovered was, just like my LB2 team at those times when I felt empty and didn’t have it within me to give, they would step up and help me through.

It was a long, hard road to travel, and I am not at the end of this journey yet. However, I can report that as of today I have lost over 200 pounds, and since I have stopped hiding behind my weight, I have met and fallen in love with the man of my dreams. I continue to blog about my journey, and you can follow along at http://traceyslaughingstars.blogspot.com.